Introduction
Vicary and Erickson have expressed their opinions on the topic of sex and disability. The two articles are similar in that they both express the miseries of being sexually excluded for mere reasons that they are disabled, but they are different in respect to context where Vicary’s case is all about meeting people of the opposite gender and having sexual encounters while the second case is about the engagement in making porn. The effect is that they had to live lives that are deficient.
Vicary is a young lady with mental disabilities in that she cannot bathe herself, feed herself, dress or cook for herself. She has been a virgin for thirty years, and when she thought she could marry, the society (parents, family, employer, etc.) were all against the idea, and so she did not get married. She opted to move out to stay on her own where she could do the things she liked and make her feel like a complete human being with desired to be met. She embarked on finding men on social media and engaging in sexual encounters with them, but she did not want to reveal that she was disabled in a way. On the other hand, Erickson was also a lady who was on a wheelchair and who laments that the society has created a culture of desirability and lack thereof. Her case was that because of her condition, she could not be desirable and could, as such, not expect to live like a normal human being, or even enjoy the company of the normal human beings. What about people going to parties and she is never invited? Or no body willing to be her partner because she was disabled? In queecrip porn, she feels that the culture of desirability has found its way where the desirability is in the form of perfection of body.
Sexuality and Sexual exclusion on Grounds of Disability
Every human being desires good sex, and also a partner in life with whom to be intimate. However, sex is not for the disables, as Vicary and Erickson have expressed. With cerebral palsy, Vicary could not do several things on her own. However, there are other areas where she excelled and did things just like a normal person would. She was a public servant meaning that she had managed to obtain education. This implied also that her mental capacities were not totally deficient and she could reason or do other things like study, work, socialize, and also speak her mind. However, the people around her seemed to be overprotective such that she had to stay a virgin for thirty years because the person she dates was advised against the idea, thanks to her disability. The society, and more so the government, has enacted rules that no person was to be intimate with a disabled person.
Erickson just sat on her wheelchair and watch people mingle, date, and obviously get intimate while she herself found not even one person to ask her out on a date. Why? She was disabled. This often was a depressing situation, and because she knew that her problem was just the physical disability, she had desires just like any other human being. How comes people could not see this? Whether it was protection or undesirability it is hard to tell, but Erickson is convinced that it was undesirability. Her physical conditions were undesirable to a normal being and, as such, she was out question. She laments that the disabled people are voiceless when it comes to the sexual matters, and all she can do was to imagine being intimate with a person she could love and be with.
The similarity between the two cases is that the choices are made for them, and they are neither consulted nor deemed to have that capacity to make decisions on matters of sex. In essence, the society has created rules that have side-lined their desires as human being. If not the rules, then it is the mentalities of the people regarding the disabled such that no one would want to be intimate with a person who was disabled in a way. Another common thing with the two cases is that despite their disabilities, the two ladies have decided to make their own paths and get what they desire without the protection of the people close to them (Vicary) and without regard to the perceptions of the people regarding desirability (Erickson). The two have found their way out, and have expressed far much satisfaction with the choices they have made to do things their way.
However, the difference between the two is the context of the sexual exclusion. The first case was a sexual exclusion in ordinary practice of sex – that is, engaging in sexual intercourse for the purpose of being intimate. In other words, the lady felt she desired sex but she was excluded from it by the people surrounding her by fears that things might turn out badly. She dated, but her date or relationship was ruined on the grounds of sexuality. On the other hand, the second case expresses not much of ordinary practice of sex, but the commercial aspect of it. In other words, she was excluded from making porn because of her disability. This, obviously, is in addition to the exclusion in the ordinary practice of sex because she expresses that no one wanted to date her. When she resorted to queercrip porn, she faced exclusion based on the disabilities she had. Despite the sexual seclusion, the two ladies found their way out, again in different contexts. Vicary could now practice sex and she indeed enjoyed it. On the other hand, Erickson could make porn even though there was still the feeling of undesirability.
Another difference between the two cases based on sexual exclusion is that for Vicary, there were no desirability issues unlike in the case for Erickson. For Erickson, she was undesirable because she was on a wheelchair whereby her disabilities were physically visible. However, the Disabilities of Vicary were concealable meaning the only for her to feel safe from exclusion was not to reveal her condition.
Marginalization on the basis of disability
In her article, Erickson writes the following:
“One of the most insidious and comprehensive ways to marginalize people is to make them question their laveability, their desirability, their collective worth, and establish a social organization that reinforces and perpetuates these systemic harms; while internalizing dominance and personalizing oppression.” (P. 11)
Besides the marginalization on sexual grounds as discussed in the above theme, there is gross marginalization for the disables as illustrated by the two cases. What is marginalization? Marginalization can simply be defined as the act of placing someone or some people in a state of powerlessness or a position that is not important within a society or a group. This has happened in races and minorities, and also in the disabled whereby they are not deemed important or have no say in the social, political or even economic affairs that concerns them.
The marginalization in the case of Vicary and Erickson was in the social context whereby they were left powerless, without voice and often without the sense of belonging. They lived in a society where people enjoyed themselves with their exclusion from that joy, and no one seemed to care about them. The only things that the ‘normal’ people seemed to care about them is giving them aid, but this aid was not enough, and they felt that that was not what they wanted in life. Stickers in busses and other public places requesting people to help the disables was all they got, while other desires were completely disregarded. At the government level, the rules relating to the sexuality of the disabled were seen as a form of protection, but did the disabled desire that protection? According to the two ladies, this was a big no.
Marginalization for Vicary was a form of mental powerlessness where she was made to believe that she cannot have sex. The people around here were overprotective such that she could do the things she would have enjoyed, among them dating and being in a relationship. The same case was for Erickson whose mentality, or so she believed, was shaped to think that the disabled are less desirable, less loveable, less attractive, and powerless. If she succumbed to this mentality, she would have made no efforts to try and come out of it. Another similarity is that they later found out in order to overcome the marginalization, something had to be done, and the choices they have made have helped them to overcome marginalization. The difference is, however, that they took different paths depending on their context of marginalization. While Vicary moved away from the people who marginalized her, Erickson sought to communicate messages to them through action and expression of hew mind.
Conclusion
As expressed in the thesis statement, the similarities between the two cases is sexual exclusion and marginalization based on their disabilities, while the main difference is the context. Vicary needed to get intimate with people, to love, and perhaps to get married. On the other hand, though these could have been the same desires for Erickson, it was her engagement in porn where her disappointments are. Vicary laments people being overprotective to the extent of denying her sexual freedom, while Erickson laments the undesirability culture that has denied her access to the sexual pleasures and also access to the field of porn. All in all, the society has marginalized the disabled in the sense that they have kept them apart with the things that they desire and things that would make them enjoy life fully. It is the conditioning of the mind where the disabled have been made to feel there are things they cannot do, and it is not until they themselves take action will they ever get out of the situation.
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